Ask the question: “What the hell is going on?” It’s been going on forever in this country. The advent of cell phones and videos just make it harder to hide, harder to suppress, and, ultimately, harder to live down. Since Rodney King’s recorded beating in the early nineties we’ve had it on our TV screens and internet feeds. But, then, since the Civil Rights movement, the Little Rock Nine, Bloody Sunday, the images of police using firehoses to break up peaceful protests…yeah, its been going on. If, somehow, this was one or two isolated instances we could say it was a shame, punish those responsible and move on. Why are there are way too many stories African Americans doing everyday things and getting killed for it: jogging, eating ice cream, sleeping?

My daughter caught me watching the video murder of George Floyd. Curious, she asked what I was watching and, absolutely needing to watch it, despite the horror, I just asked her to leave the room so I could finish. Rage & disbelief, I tried to finish the rest of an otherwise mundane day without, impossibly, thinking about what I had seen. Later, on the news, the riots were happening and again she showed up and wanted to know what all the activity on the TV was about. Her mom and I had to explain the best we could to our nine year old daughter why people are so fed up and angry. This little girl, who never thinks twice about simple acts of kindness, like hugging her friends of all colors, or sharing her toys, her lunch, or of giving her friendship and her love. As this talk wound down she said some people are just stupid. Yes, and that stupidity is dangerous.

I’ve been lucky growing up. I didn’t grow up with that evil hate in my heart against anyone of color. I will never understand this hate that dehumanizes anyone who doesn’t look like you. I also realized a few things today. That almost in my lifetime there was still anti-miscegenation laws on the books in several states; that MLK was assassinated just a few short years before I was born, my siblings already born; that Marvin Gaye was singing about racial and economic injustices in an album that came out just a few months before I was born. Got me wondering why didn’t I have those racist attitudes?

It is not because I was raised in a diverse neighborhood. I was. I was exposed to many people from all walks of life, with friends, neighbors and classmates of every shade and ancestry.

Certainly not because I wasn’t ever exposed to racism. I was. I think at some point we all are. It’s inevitable. As a kid I was exposed to shitty racist jokes by older kids, laughing nervously because I didn’t understand them. I’ve heard and seen and been disgusted by cowards talking badly about others behind their backs because those others were black, or Asian, or from Latin America. Adults I knew that would utter racist comments even though they thought they were being subtle or that a little bit of prejudices were OK.

It couldn’t be because I had strong role models who were African American. I did. The coolest man I’d ever met was my parents friend, Don. Don had a deep voice, could play pool like a shark, rode a Harley, had an earing and a hard handshake. He was an all around great guy, successful and handsome. I wanted to be just like him. He was black and back then I wished I’d had an ounce of his swagger. Some of the most successful people I’ve looked up to have been people of color. Successful not only in careers, but more generally in just life.

I wouldn’t think it was because I had friends of all colors. I do, and not in a cop-out: “Oh, yeah…I have black friends.” But, in a honest these were some of my best friends throughout my life. The thick and thin friends.

I think it was because my parents had no hate in their hearts for anyone. They didn’t. They accepted everyone and that attitude was learned by their kid. No baby is born and hates another. Racism needs to be taught and passed down like a sick heirloom.

I realize how absolutely fucked this stuff is. I shouldn’t say stuff, and call it really what it is, blatant bigotry. I feel so small sitting here thinking about this huge problem. I will never know how it feels to be anything but white, with all the privilege, real or perceived that skin brings. I only know when I read & watch these stories of people of color dying for, well, being people of color, my heart hurts and the only thing that gives me hope is looking into the heart of my kids. I see in them what the future could be. Clean hearts with no hate.

Picket lines and picket signs
Don't punish me with brutality
Talk to me, so you can see
Oh, what's going on

-From Marvin Gaye’s masterpiece, What’s Going On, released in in 1971

I’m listening to one of my all time favorite albums that was released 48 years ago. It’s 2020! What is one man’s life worth? What is the worth of a whole group of people? Why have we as a modern society not demanded more? What is it going to take to end this nonsense?

I don’t have the answers, of course, but I’m here to listen.

I can suggest to call your local representatives and find out what kind of training your law enforcement get. Call your state government and demand better. Reach out to your senators and congress people and tell them that you want real change. Vote. We need just as much social work and services as we do law enforcement. We need just as much community outreach as we do riot gear. We need just as much addiction counseling as we do beat cops. We need more education and opportunity than all of this combined. It isn’t about not being “tough on crime”. It is about compassion and empathy and humanity. I would never want to do the job of law enforcement. Most who do, I still believe, are good people. But, there’s got to be better than this. And, we’ve got to get there…fast.

Take care of each other.

By the bye, I really thought about not posting this, that somehow it wasn’t my place. A blog on our game site bringing up this issue? I realized, however, that it is everyone’s place to talk about this; to get angry; to feel this; to do something. Demand better.