Social, Not Social

My parents were social animals, much more than I will ever be. Mayoral candidates for the city of Seattle held campaign rallies at our house in the early 80’s.  Soccer meetings were held. PTA meetings. Dinner parties, pool parties, Christmas eve parties, they did it all. Me? Not so much. I envy (a little) that social flair they had. The sheer amount of people they counted as friends was fantastic. When they moved out to the lake house, they could have 15 or 20 people hanging around on any given night. This social stuff, it’s not in my DNA. For me, I like playing host, but not to be a too integral part of the conversation. For me it’s more about taking care of people as a way to offer a bit of myself. They called it to “visit with” so and so when folks would just show up. I call it, “text me first and see if I respond…and don’t ever just show up.”

When I was a kid I was fascinated by adults.  I would sit and observe them like an anthropologist or a sociologist studying some foreign culture.  I could sit for hours listening to conversations about politics, religion, art. And, every point of view was correct, no matter how different the perspective of the conversation participants. I absorbed so much in those days. I still do. The disappointment I felt after being sent to bed while the conversations continued was eased only by my ability to hide at the top of our stairs and continue to eavesdrop. I think I developed an interest in people then, but as someone who’s more interested in being outside the box than in it.

Nowadays, at gatherings, I still like to wander in and out of conversations, occasionally offering an opinion or obscure fact I have in my head, like I’m Silent Bob in a Kevin Smith flick. Oh, I’m listening, and I’m paying attention to your details, even if I’m filling a bowl with snacks or busy changing the music up a bit. I’m there, offering a smile, a polite laugh, and the occasional nod.

Not these days though. Being social in too close proximity is forbidden (and, really, not a good idea). I think about how my parents would be right now. Stir crazy in that big house, with just the two of them. I can see them clearly: Mom, a bit naggy, Dad muttering not-so-sweet-nothings under his breath, both trying to figure out what to talk about. I think they liked each other, most of the time. I think they also enjoyed the hours of the days they were apart, though, too. An extended period of time, just the two of them? I see a lot of home projects completed, “I’ll be in the garage!”, and not a few bottles of libation consumed.

I think about friends and family who I know are real social people too and how stir crazy they might be right now. I feel bad for them. I wonder how they are doing with their own four walls, and with who they have around them. We’re all stuck together apart in this quasi quarantine, the one that asks, don’t go out, unless, of course, you need to; and I’m hopeful they are doing well. Many of us are without their support systems, friends and family. I’m hopeful for us all, that this may be over soon. I’m super lucky that I enjoy being home and like the people I’m stuck with. The house is big enough to find my own corner, and we are pretty well stocked.

Take it away Huey:

Yes, it's true, I'm happy to be stuck with you
Yes, it's true, I'm so happy to be stuck with you
'Cause I can see that you're happy to be stuck with me

In the social conscious, being a socially responsible social person is hard for a social butterfly, but social distancing may not be so bad for the socially awkward of us in society.

(sorry, I just really wanted to write that sentence)

Thank a nurse! Thank a frontline worker! Check on your people!

Stay safe. Stay sane. As always…play more games!